So I walked out from another job interview! It seems that I'm forever being interviewed by Debbie, Jane, Maxine, Marsha, Jane's sister, Barbara, Sally, Judith or Monica! Is Jim working today? Or, is Mike in the office? Or...or....or, what happened to that guy named Brian? Ah, ah, there's a guy named Chris who works here too, right?Hey Guys! Let's be honest, where are the male job recruiters? I know that this question comes across as sexist. But, seriously, as a liberal male looking for work in this society, we are confronted with the same American working woman, sitting behind that desk. She tries her best to find us a career job starting at $6.50 an hour. We want to protest, but before getting our anti-bullshit banners out and loud-speakers, she turns with grace as she smiles and says "this is the best I can find for you with your skills! And Jim, Mike and Brian are away from the office, they can't help you now! Oh, by the way, that guy named Chris, well, we had no choice, so we shot him in the chest last week. So is there anything else?"
American Woman, I’m sorry, I’ve grown tired of you. You bring me misery. You are so self righteous and determined to have it your way. I fight for your equality and yet you discriminate against me. You say that you believe in equality and you want to fight against the Evil White Male. But what happens when you take over his seat of power and authority? Though, I must admit that I am somewhat a fool by believing that you're more open-minded, kind and more caring than that antagonistic, White Male. But you‘ve been keeping a deep-dark secret of envy and lust for his power. The very thought of having his power in order to enslave those who you want to control gives you multiple orgasms, which you normally fake. You probably already made future plans in your future world of business and commerce to your personal benefit. You are so enamored by this White Male, you even date him and going so far as marrying him and having his children! Still, I want to believe in you and fight for your equality. Giving me a good-paying job! That's the fight for my equality! I need this job, can you help me?
American Woman, please, look at my resume, you will see that I've given your space, I celebrate your independence, I even support and read your literature. Can I get a job? American Woman, I won't harm you, I will abandon all sense of sexuality in the workplace. I will make our working environment as sexually free as possible. I won't even flirt with you, I won't even compliment your new hair style. Can I get a job? Yes, yes, I even believe in Pro-Choice and even gay marriages, also a woman as President of the United States of anywhere else in the world, but how can I apply for this job? I agree with you, O.J. Simpson is guilty as hell, and what he did to Nicole Brown was horrible, I feel your sense of fear of men like him. I know that I am black too, but I just need a job, you know.
American woman, I am tired of your talk shows, bringing men on the show to inquire on why they are not pleasing their wives in bed. I am tired of you of replacing romance with your fucking careers. How long will you live with your non-romantic endeavors? Aren't you tired of being alone? So you fake orgasms but you wanna bring your husband to talk to Dr. Phil about his short comings, what about yours?
American woman, I don't want to marry you and go into dept in getting you a house. I don't want to divorce you and having you take my house away from me. I don't want to have children with you, because you will turn against me and have them call me a dead-beat father. I want to be free from you. I want to believe that you are pregnant with my child! You said that you have been pregnant for two months. I understand that you were so busy with your career. You out of all people know very well that I honored that fact by making sure that you had your independence and space to finally learn about your pregnancy two weeks ago! American woman, I'm leaving you, so let me go, "I don't want to see your face no more"
Good Morning, uh...hi...is Jim working today?
