Nathan! you are the homie!

Dear Nathan,

You are the coolest friend around. You did the impossible, you took the time to come out to Germany to work, live and travel with me. Though, we had our difficult times, but in the end, you were the homie. You are still the homie, nothing changed. Thanks for coming out to Phoenix to visit me. As always, you brought out the good things in life, which most people (like myself) need in this world. Even though, you were here for only two and a half days, it was well worth it. So kudos to you my friend.

Thanks,

Sidney

Looking back. Thoughts from Nathan!

Valencia, Spain January 2005. We were leaving our paradise getaway from the cold world of Germany................

Lonelsome Traveler, that's who we are!

The Adventure has already begun!

We are the lonelesome traveler. How have we been? Since our return from our long journeys, we've brought back knowledge, ideas, cultural awareness, literature, unique taste of exotic dishes, wines, friendship and hope. With all we've were hoping to establish is ruin. Ruin by those we missed so much while we were away. They (our friends and family) want to return the state of normalcy in our lives. You think while you were away that these people were just wondering what ideas you were going to present to them upon our arrival, did you? Near our return home, they sat around trying to find a way to block or not acknowledging where we've been or what we can bring into their lives. Instead, our friends are dating someone new. Or our friends found a new job or they have all of sudden found God and somehow we have fallen from Grace.

Lonelseome Traveler, though we can't have the same exprience as we did while away from home. Smiling at strangers in our own community is not encouraged. Instead, we must reeducate ourselves by rebuilding the walls that seperate us from our fellow citizens. Being overly friendly, like we were away from home will prompt questions to our intentions. We must return to normalcy! We return to watch television shows with new faces, but yet the same scenario of roommates living in a house, working long hours, police shows were the cops are always right and innocent is put away in jail. Television news is something we have lost touch with their sense of reality. While we were traveling in the world. News was inviting, informative and even with the information we've received, we still trusted strangers over the same faces we see in our community back home. But, slowly we will somehow find ourselves believing that the world outside of our borders are filled with evil men, women and children; whose sole desire is still kill us and convert our ways into theirs. But lonelesome traveler, remember when we were in North Africa and we needed food? Didn't that North African family provide us with a home cook meal and a place to rest our head? Do you remember when they tried to offer us money to make sure we had a safe journey to our next destionation? Now, these kind people who had nothing (which we will equate to our living standards) are suddenly our enemies?

Lonelesome traveler, our friends have decided to play dumb to most obvious things in life. How do we handle these friends? We try to dumb down intelligent conversations in order to fit in. Realizing that these friends of ours are dumbing things down only to get a piece of ass. Where do we fit in this non-existence reality? We know the truth, only because we've exprienced it. Suddenly, we become alone. The only reminders that we have that there is world outside of our communities are through pictures, e-mail from other lonelesome travelers just like us, maps, books and music we picked up along the way. We become even lonelier, because we have no one to share our lives. We begin to sell out and become part of the crowd. We change our fashion to mirror our friends. We suddenly give up on reading and becoming informed only to have a chance to get some after the club. We become consumers in this hyper-materialistic world where we don't want to acknowledge that we are lonely or sad. We buy things so we don't feel our deep feelings.

Lonelesome traveler, we must meet again, keep in touch and seek to find others like ourselves. We must work and save money to take off for another adventure. We must not indulge in this hyper consuming economy. We must manage our money like we did while away from home. We must be ready at all times to explore new places even within our own communities. We should encourage our friends to come with us. But, if our friends fail to tag along, due to bullshit reasons of "my girlfriend/boyfriend or both for this matter, my job, too tired, not interested or flakiness. We must seek our adventures alone. The same way we did, when we boarded that plane and the way when we arrived to our new destionation not knowing east to west, stranger to a friend, new friend to a new lover. We must seek that adventure if no one else will come with us. Look forward, lonelesome traveler, soon we will meet again.

Friendship lost, congratulations, You just got Married!

Congratulations!

It must have been such a special event for the both of you. I knew that one day that you two were going to join hands, exchange rings and exchange vows of marriage. I certainly remember back when you two were just dating, then became a couple. I often visited you in your small apartment in West LA. We even went out several times for drinks and dinner. But, somewhere in the back of my mind, she didn't really approve of me and my friends. I naturally just took as her being insecure and maybe one day she will she the value of our friendship. But she never did? No! No! She didn't and you two were so proud of yourselves by not at least sending an invitation. But, somehow she remembered to send us an e-mail link to your wedding pictures. But, it seemed like we've been trying to get in touch with you two for over a year now.

Even with the wedding pictures link, I kindly sent you guys an e-mail telling yah, that I was happy for yah, and I wish you two the best. Still no reply. Don't be confused as though I will not make in life without your friendship or your wife's approval. You should know that I don't feel insecure because of your marriage, in fact, I've witnessed many of my friends' weddings, child birth, divorce, seperation and re-marriage. So, you aren't doing anything unique in the world, love is everywhere. Though, I'm not married, this new life of yours shouldn't be a Country Club membership.

I like my friends are very confident on who we are as people, friends and travelers. I won't apologize for being true to what I truly enjoy in life. I remember there was a time, you'd also enjoyed these same things in life. But, now that has changed. And, guess what my friend? that is good, that is good for you! So it has become very clear that I no longer fit into your new life as a married man. You could have at least sent me an e-mail or a telephone call telling me that I am not the person you and your wife want in your new life as a married couple.

So, maybe one day we will cross paths and keep walking in the opposite direction. At least, I am being honest . Will you?

American woman, stay away from me......

So I walked out from another job interview! It seems that I'm forever being interviewed by Debbie, Jane, Maxine, Marsha, Jane's sister, Barbara, Sally, Judith or Monica! Is Jim working today? Or, is Mike in the office? Or...or....or, what happened to that guy named Brian? Ah, ah, there's a guy named Chris who works here too, right?

Hey Guys! Let's be honest, where are the male job recruiters? I know that this question comes across as sexist. But, seriously, as a liberal male looking for work in this society, we are confronted with the same American working woman, sitting behind that desk. She tries her best to find us a career job starting at $6.50 an hour. We want to protest, but before getting our anti-bullshit banners out and loud-speakers, she turns with grace as she smiles and says "this is the best I can find for you with your skills! And Jim, Mike and Brian are away from the office, they can't help you now! Oh, by the way, that guy named Chris, well, we had no choice, so we shot him in the chest last week. So is there anything else?"

American Woman, I’m sorry, I’ve grown tired of you. You bring me misery. You are so self righteous and determined to have it your way. I fight for your equality and yet you discriminate against me. You say that you believe in equality and you want to fight against the Evil White Male. But what happens when you take over his seat of power and authority? Though, I must admit that I am somewhat a fool by believing that you're more open-minded, kind and more caring than that antagonistic, White Male. But you‘ve been keeping a deep-dark secret of envy and lust for his power. The very thought of having his power in order to enslave those who you want to control gives you multiple orgasms, which you normally fake. You probably already made future plans in your future world of business and commerce to your personal benefit. You are so enamored by this White Male, you even date him and going so far as marrying him and having his children! Still, I want to believe in you and fight for your equality. Giving me a good-paying job! That's the fight for my equality! I need this job, can you help me?


American Woman, please, look at my resume, you will see that I've given your space, I celebrate your independence, I even support and read your literature. Can I get a job? American Woman, I won't harm you, I will abandon all sense of sexuality in the workplace. I will make our working environment as sexually free as possible. I won't even flirt with you, I won't even compliment your new hair style. Can I get a job? Yes, yes, I even believe in Pro-Choice and even gay marriages, also a woman as President of the United States of anywhere else in the world, but how can I apply for this job? I agree with you, O.J. Simpson is guilty as hell, and what he did to Nicole Brown was horrible, I feel your sense of fear of men like him. I know that I am black too, but I just need a job, you know.


American woman, I am tired of your talk shows, bringing men on the show to inquire on why they are not pleasing their wives in bed. I am tired of you of replacing romance with your fucking careers. How long will you live with your non-romantic endeavors? Aren't you tired of being alone? So you fake orgasms but you wanna bring your husband to talk to Dr. Phil about his short comings, what about yours?




American woman, I don't want to marry you and go into dept in getting you a house. I don't want to divorce you and having you take my house away from me. I don't want to have children with you, because you will turn against me and have them call me a dead-beat father. I want to be free from you. I want to believe that you are pregnant with my child! You said that you have been pregnant for two months. I understand that you were so busy with your career. You out of all people know very well that I honored that fact by making sure that you had your independence and space to finally learn about your pregnancy two weeks ago! American woman, I'm leaving you, so let me go, "I don't want to see your face no more"

Good Morning, uh...hi...is Jim working today?

guilty pleasures

Your'e not old, but you're still young, some what attractive, broke, talented, educated and still unemployed. I still wait to be interviewed, other people are also waiting for that interview, Welcome to the Rat Race!

An old friend named Corby once told me that this Rat Race is actually a circus. And a circus it is: I see wild elephants, lions, tigers and a couple of shy griaffes. Which animal am I? Probably an eagle, which can fly, and fly away; but my wings are wounded from the battle of life, I am grounded. Its killing me! So many depressed people on the ground, the poor, unintelligent and the un-romantics. America! the home of the free and brave. . . 'home' (America) without a special lover. 'free' to work long hours and 'free' to not be free! 'Brave' to stare at death with envy.

I often ask, how some people can get by in this life? I know such a person. He's economically well off, he has a good paying job, his house is filled with things that make any person jealous. He keeps his house very clean, he wears the best of clothes. His name has no importance, let's call him Society! He thinks of his work and he is his work. He's trapped in the box of work, but he's human! He walks, he breathes and he functions just like a human being, but he operates mechancially.

He sleeps well in his king size bed, empty it is and smells only of himself. He has no one in his life, he converse privately with himself. His computer is his only connection with sexuality. Images over reality. Sexuality is the computer and it draws him in and captures his attention. His door remains closed all day and all night. The computer monitor is on his lap, he creams over the screen, as cum falls down his leg, the bed and the floor, trying to find the human destiny. . . . . . . .He's human! he sees his emotions are getting the best of him. He lost all of his friends and his money and cyber women are the only necessities to him. He has sold his soul to the overly inperfect illusion of sexual satifiscation. He's working for 911, he wants to rescue a girl on the ; as she calls for help, wanting to be saved from her abusive life. He runs to save her. She's not real, not human, or she is? She's a blow-up doll.